Seeds

Scripture memory.  It's all over my radar right now.  I'm really not sure that the Lord could make it any more clear to me that I NEED it.  (Although, I have no doubt that he could if he wanted to, so that's not a challenge or anything.)  Thanks Mom, John Piper, and Seeds Family Worship.  A friend of mine and I recently went in together and bought the Seeds CDs.  If you haven't heard of them, they're great.  They're verses of scripture set to music that is aimed towards kids, but, as a parent, I like them too.  Best of all, the verses songs get stuck in my head.  Not a bad problem to have.

Especially when the song is "Phillipians 4:6-7".  "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."  Yeah.  Totally what I need to hear.  Over and over and over again in my head.  I am so ready for this little boy to be born.  I don't remember being this big or tired or unable to wear even most maternity clothes with Els.  But this is not my show and it's not about me.  So, I've been laying these worries over and over again at the feet of Jesus and asking for faith to trust that my discomfort is what's best for Miller.  Despite what I'm feeling, I know that he will be born precisely when he's supposed to.

Also, I'm nothing if not impatient, so waiting is always a good yet hard lesson for me.  There's much joy and excitement to be found in it.  Joy in the laughter, ever-growing vocabulary, and non-stop energy of my precious girl and excitement as I imagine how much more full life will be when there are two using the living room furniture as a jungle gym.  Or sitting in little boxes watching tv.

Fall, Where Are You?

I had the strangest dream last night.  We lived in the Southern United States and while we didn't get drastic season changes, it tended to turn cooler in September/October for autumn and then cold around the turn of the year.

Then I woke up to my reality.  That we live on the equator where it's still a blazing 90 degrees on October 27th.  Good thing Els' Halloween costume doesn't involve anything warm.

Go Dawgs!

Just in case you were wondering, getting a toddler and a bulldog to look at the camera at the same time may actually be impossible.  Aren't they cute, though?

I Look Forward To

Fall (Yes, I know it's October 22, but I live in the swamp and it's still in the high 70s and low 80s here.  No sweaters yet.)

Non-smelly newborn diapers (Even though I know that there will be MANY of them.)

Christmas music (T-8 days until we start playing it around here.)

Running (Don't even get me started.)

The occasional peppermint mocha (The closest 'bucks is 45 minutes away.)

Els' "I'm awake" chatter when nap is over

Hearing his key turn the lock at the end of the day

More Than I Deserve

So, I have to be real honest and tell you guys that I've been throwing a big pity party for myself around here lately.  You see, this week I'm 33 weeks pregnant with Miller and I kind of thought that most people in my life hadn't really noticed.  I've given myself little pep talks about how he's a second child and a lot of people don't have showers for second children, I just had a baby 19 months ago, we have most of what we need anyway, etc., etc.  The last thing I want to be is needy.  I guess it's the raging American in me that wants to pull myself up by my own bootstraps, thank-you-very-much.  But this is not how God intended for us to live together as believers, a point that He wanted to make very clear to me.

Everything changed yesterday when I walked into my good friend's house for our weekly lunch Bible study.  I hadn't noticed the extra cars parked around as I tried to carry the food I had made, Els' booster seat and bag, while also trying to corral her into the yard and out of the road.  And then it happened.  Everyone yelled "Surprise!"  It was not Bible study, it was a baby shower for Miller.  I cried.  Hard.  Automatically, I felt so foolish and selfish for having spent the time feeling left out and overlooked.  And I felt so blessed.  They had made all sorts of delicious food and invited some wonderful ladies that I haven't seen in a while.  It was wonderful to catch up with everyone and have all of our kids there together.  As I opened gifts, I threw out the tissue paper to all the toddlers and preschoolers and they had a ball throwing it around and ripping it to shreds.  What a perfect shower for a little boy!

Later in the afternoon, while Els napped, I sat on my bed and thanked God for His ever over-abundant provision for me.  I am overwhelmed at how marvelous His grace is to poor, petty me.  The shower yesterday was a not-so-subtle reminder that He does see me, listen to me, and pour blessings out on me even when I don't deserve them.  To the praise of His glorious Name!

Thank you, thank you sweet ladies for yesterday if you read this.  You can have no idea what an impact on my life you have made.

"There was life before my life.  There was provision before my need.  There was redemption before my sin.  For the sake of the world, I thank the Lord that the truth's not contingent on me."
-Derek Webb

Isn't It Love?

She may look like the spitting image of her father, but this girl is also 100% mine, declaring her love of cats on her clothing proudly.

How Can it Be?

Where has the time gone?  When did it change from June (the month it still currently is in my head) to OCTOBER?  While I'm quite excited that the temperature has dropped below the 90s (and even 80s!) here for a couple of days, it means that a precious little boy will be joining our family on the outside very soon.   This is partially due to the fact that I went to the doctor last week at 31 weeks and they don't want to see me back for 5 weeks.  5 weeks.  Oh government healthcare.  It's free, but sometimes you get just what you pay for.  Somedays, his arrival couldn't came soon enough and, at the same time, there are some moments where I feel like freaking out a bit.

My parents came this weekend and Dad helped B rearrange a bunch of furniture in the kids' (kids'!) rooms to get ready for Miller's arrival.  Now I have two rooms of the house that are in complete and utter disarray.  My task for the week:  create order from said chaos.  I know that I don't have to have Miller's nursery ready for him when he arrives, that he won't use it much for the first several weeks, but it will make me feel a lot better about things.  Especially with his due date smack dab in the middle of our two biggest holidays.  My sister is positive that I won't make it that long and while she was right about Els coming early, I am not getting my hopes up.  All I hope for is that he be born healthy and naturally.

So that's about it for now.  Things are entirely insane for B at work which means a lot of evening walks for Els and me while we wait for him to come home.  Our new double stroller is supposed to come today, so maybe we can give it a spin before it officially has two occupants.

Thank you all so much for your kind words and encouragement after my last post.  We don't live in a vacuum and it's so good to be reminded of that.

Overwhelmed

I have the opening line of the theme song for "The Wonder Years" stuck in my head this afternoon.  "What would you think if I sang out of tune, would you stand up and walk out on me?"  Would you think less of me if I told you that I'm a bit overwhelmed right now?  The very last thing in the world that I want to do is complain about my life.  I have a wonderful life, I just feel like I constantly and consistently fail at it.  My days are filled with a very vivacious 19-month-old (today!) who is exploding with words and new things she can do.  As her mommy, I feel like I am always struggling with how to channel this never ending energy into positive things and teach her well about the world around us.

My nights are filled with an extremely active little boy who is sitting pretty low at this point which means lots of trips to the bathroom and middle of the night stretching.  As his mommy, I feel like I do a bad job remembering that he's even there until he kicks me in the ribs because my mind is so occupied by his big sister.  I am always putting off what needs to be done and bought for him because his birth is still so far in the future in my mind.  It is hard to believe that he could be with us on the outside in as little as six or seven weeks!

In short, God has been so gracious and generous with me and I want to do what He's given me to do well and I just flat out don't know how to.  But I want to.  I pray for my children all the time, I just don't know what else to do to put them in the right paths.  So, if there are any seasoned moms out there reading this, what do you do in the day to day?  Activities for a toddler?  Advice for handling the day with more than one?  I know that it's a broad question, but any advice would be appreciated.

Thanks for (once again) listening.

This Guy

He has a birthday today.  He's not very psyched about his new age, but I rather think he keeps getting better, so I say, bring on those big(ger) numbers.  It's all relative anyway, right?

Eight years ago today, my family was right smack dab in the middle of Grace's adoption.  On that day, September 14, 2002, the social worker who was writing our home study was coming to have family dinner with us.  It was a rainy Saturday.  For my part, I made a chocolate chip cookie and whipped cream dessert.  She came, we had dinner and she went. But there was dessert left over.  Later on that evening, my little brother and some of his friends came over along with a couple of the youth workers from the church where he went to youth group.  I was excited because one of said youth workers was Brian, a guy I had met a couple of times and I thought he was really good looking and interesting.  And low and behold, it was his birthday!  The guys put candles in the rest of the chocolate chip cookie dessert I had made and we all sang "Happy Birthday" to him.

Two weeks later we went on our first date.

And I've made him birthday cakes ever since then.

Happy Birthday Babe!

The Ever Exciting Life of Els

Learning to love on babies

I may be a bit biased, but do they come any cuter than this?

The final voyage of Wanda the Honda

This girl loves to wear my shoes

"Don't even think about touching this spoon, Mommy.  I can feed myself!"

She loves muffins.  Especially when they have chocolate chips in them.

Sit

Sometimes I need a gentle reminder of what's important.  Today has been a very "Martha" day for me.  We had Bible Study at our house at lunchtime and I spent the morning in a semi-frenzy getting ready for it.  (I am nothing if not a procrastinator.)  Els ends up with the short end of the stick on these days because I do things to keep her occupied and out of my way mostly which leaves us both frazzled.  She had a mini breakdown about 15 minutes before people were supposed to arrive and I stuck her in her bed to cool off while I finished preparations for lunch.

Then it hit me.

Where was the love in this situation?  All that my 18-month old wanted was my attention.  Me.  Not what I can do.  I could have my house looking spotless and lunch tasting delicious, but if it's at the expense of love, it means nothing.  Well, then Bible Study came and went and was wonderful, but I forgot the little lesson God began in my heart beforehand.  Els and I walked out to get the mail before nap time and as we were walking back through the yard I heard her behind me say, "Sit."  And she did.  Right in the dirt in her pretty dress.  It was a not so subtle reminder to me that she wanted to spend time with her Mommy.  (Also, it was quite possibly the cutest thing I've seen in a while.)  My heart was melted.  I sat for 15 minutes or so and she ran around picking up various treasures (dead flowers, leaves, shells, hand-fulls of dirt) and bringing them back to me.  We had the best time.

She is priceless and I have this one life to live with her.  I am immensely blessed indeed.

What's in a Name

For some reason, though most of you know it, I've never written Els' actual name on this blog.  I felt like it was some small measure of internet security, but I put so much other stuff about us on here, I don't know why it mattered.  And now I'm faced with a dilemma because baby #2 doesn't have a name that so easily lends itself to a blog nick-name.  So here goes with the names.

She is Eliana (the Lord has answered).

He is Miller (my maiden name).

There you go.

Labor of Love

It's been a long time coming, but B made us a bed!  He has always joked with me about how he can make me anything I need, and in this case, he did.

Please note the little head popping up on the far side.  She loves that the side rails also double as footholds that she can now use to successfully climb up on our bed by herself.

Language of the Soul

Since May, I have had the pleasure of being in a book club with some of the most encouraging ladies I've ever known.  We meet every two weeks to talk about classical literature but I leave every time encouraged as a believer, as a mother, and just as a person in general.  Right now we are right smack dab in the middle of John Milton's Paradise Lost.  It's Milton's fleshed out version of the fall of Satan and subsequent fall of man written in epic poem version.  And it's gorgeous.  We spent some time tonight talking about how sometimes poetry can say things in such ways as to make them make more sense than prose.

The same is true for all of the arts, I think.  Whether a painting, a poem, a song, or other art form, I believe that they reach different parts of us than mere words.  They speak a language of their own and differently to each one of us.  They are the languages of the soul.  It was actually happy coincidence that we talked a bit of this tonight because I was thinking about it in regard to music last night.  B and I watched the movie, "The Soloist", and it was incredible.  It is the true story of a LA Times reporter who befriends a homeless man who is a musical prodigy.  There is this one beautiful scene in the movie where Nathaniel Anthony Ayers, the homeless musician, is presented by the reporter with a cello for the first time in many years.  Mr. Ayers sits down on a makeshift stool on the side of the road and begins to play.  And the look on his face as his bow glides across the strings!  He's hearing the language of his soul for the first time in years.  And I knew that look because I know that language too.  I was almost in tears.  Jamie Foxx should have won an Oscar for that scene alone.  

Maybe everyone's like this and I just don't know it, but songs speak to me in ways that nothing else can.  Music makes me feel alive.  What an incredible gift!

What makes you feel alive?

Love Songs

I don't know why, but today, as I was making chocolate chip cookies, I was thinking about my favorite love songs.  Maybe because making any kind of "dessert" makes me think of my dessert-loving Marine, or maybe it's because I'm a total sap and I love love songs.  Either way, I thought that I'd share with you my short list of favorite love songs.  In no particular order, here they are:

Forever by Ben Harper
Kingdom Come by Coldplay
Springtime Indiana by Sandra McCracken
One by U2
You Are the Best Thing by Ray LaMontagne

Not exhaustive, but it's a start.  And, random, I know, especially with all else going on in our lives right now.

What are some of your favorites?

"Never been good with my thoughts and even worse with my words, but you read like familiar poetry that I have never heard..." -Sandra McCracken

My Girl and Me

We look alike, right?

Boy Oh Boy!

So, as you may have guessed from the title, baby #2 is a boy!  We found out yesterday morning.  To be really honest, before we found out, I was nervous about the possibility that it was a boy because, well, I have no idea what to do with a boy and my mom says that they'll break your heart one day.  However, since we found out, I have been absolutely thrilled about this new little man.  He's so active and, even though it's an ultrasound picture, he looks like his big sister already.

Also, we found out that he's due 9 days earlier than we thought.  November 30 here we come!

Milton's Blindness

I've never much for poetry.  I mean, I love it, but I don't always get it and I cannot write it as much as I wish that I could.  Recently, a friend shared this poem with me and the last line speaks to me as much as a whole book of poetry could.

On His Blindness

When I consider how my light is spent
E're half my days, in this dark world and wide,
And that one Talent which is death to hide,
Lodg'd with me useless, though my Soul more bent
To serve therewith my Maker, and present
My true account, least he returning chide,
Doth God exact day-labour, light deny'd,
I fondly ask But patience to prevent
That murmur, soon replies, God doth not need
Either man's work or his own gifts, who best
Bear his milde yoak, they serve him best, his State
Is Kingly.  Thousands at his bidding speed
And post o're Land and Ocean without rest:
They also serve who only stand and waite.

-John Milton (emphasis mine)

Sometimes the Legends are True

We live on an island amidst a myriad of other islands, marshlands, tidal creeks and very near the Atlantic Ocean.  While our town is not the home of a Target, Starbucks, or even a reputable Italian restaurant, it   does lay claim to much beauty.  And where there is beauty there is always mystery.

This is where my story begins.

Cruising through the tidal "creeks" (read: rivers) many of the islands look the same.  Some are large and usually lined by enormous houses with lush green lawns and long docks to house their boats, while some are small and hold only a grove of palmettos raised a few feet above the marsh grass.  There is the occasional marina and the occasional sandbar where you can see the, well, uh, South Carolina "natives" in all of their lawn chairs and beer in the middle of the water glory.  Then, there is Monkey Island.  Yes, you read that right - MONKEY Island.  As it would seem just down the road (well, if you consider a tidal river a road and your boat a car) from our house lies the only free range monkey colony in the United States.  There, about 5000 monkeys live on a beautiful, lush 400 acre island accessible only by boat and ringed with "No Trespassing" signs.  The story goes that they are "grown" for research and that about 500 a year are harvested for these purposes.

Since last month, we have been on "Monkey Quest 2010" just about every weekend, trying to catch a glimpse of said monkeys.  On Father's Day weekend, we saw several but they were too far back in the trees to get a good picture of them.  While my lawyer husband assures everyone aboard that trespassing is only a misdemeanor and that he's not even sure what statute they could prosecute us under, none of us has yet to set foot on the island.  I'm fine not even having a misdemeanor, much less not being attacked by wild monkeys.  This past weekend, we had a little better luck.  While trying to crank the boat back up, (I'll spare the details of potentially being stuck in the middle of nowhere on a boat with two tired and hungry toddlers.  That's a whole other post in and of itself.) we noticed that a curious little fellow had climbed to the edge to observe our potential demise.  Behold:

Although we were tempted to see if the little guy could work our a tow for us, we did eventually get the boat cranked thanks to the mad McGuyver-like skills of the men with us, but we got a good picture of a monkey at last.  I am nearly positive that we'll be back.  Finding monkeys has become a minor hobby/obsession for B these days.  

So, there are monkeys in South Carolina.  Who knew?

Our Little Family

Thanks to the super-talented Mr. Jeremy Patat for this little gem of a family photo!