Sunday, March 18, 2007

Jet Lag Nonsense

I wrote this last week and forgot to post it, so here goes...

March 9, 2007

I feel like my head is spinning because of jet lag, so I am sitting here writing so that I will not fall asleep during my last few minutes at work today. I feel a little bit like I am operating in a parallel universe today. About an hour ago, I went to the bathroom and I am pretty sure that I dozed off on the toilet. It always amazes me when I look forward to big life events, such as the trip to China to adopt Micah, and they just come and go like the wind. On the one hand, I feel like I was there forever. My body certainly feels like it was in a time zone that is 13 hours different than the one I am in now for 2 whole weeks.

In the many hours that I laid in bed last night wide awake, I began to try and process all that I saw, heard, thought, and felt during the time we spent in China. It is absolutely the most amazing thing that I have ever experienced to watch a child be adopted and learn to trust their new family. It is also always amazing to go to another place than the one that I live and realize how very small I am. My tendency is to almost start to feel insignificant, but then I begin to understand that we are all needed for certain purposes. Ever since I have been in graduate school, whenever I go away on a trip or have any sort of break, I get terribly depressed when it’s time to come back to the routine. This happened to me this week as usual, but since I am beginning to understand that I have a purpose, this really changes the light of everything for me. Right now, I am not quite sure what this purpose is, but I have to maintain hope that there is one for me. Oh, but I am rambling because I am so tired and I have about two million thoughts running amuck in my head.

Meanwhile, I am listening to our outreach advocate counsel a victim over the phone. She is unbelievable to be able to deal with what she deals with day in and day out and still have to presence of mind and energy to raise seven children. I mean really, I think I struggle with being a graduate student and having two cats! I think I may have it easy. The stories that some of these victims have blow my mind. Before this semester I had no earthly idea that even half of this stuff went on. It’s insane, you don’t even see some of this kind of stuff on television because it is so unreal. Okay, no more info about that. Just ask me about it sometime. Okay, time to go. I promise that next time I write things will make a bit more sense.