Tuesday, July 07, 2009

The Haves and Have Nots

No matter where I am, what I'm doing, or what I have, you can pretty much guess I want more. Hey, I'm human, aren't I? Ever since I can remember, I've always been a dreamer, thinking along the lines of, "When such and such happens or I get so and so, then life will really be something, then I'll have it all and have it all figured out!" But if there's anything I've learned in over 27 years of life, it's that, until Heaven, I'll never have it all, I'll never quite get "there."

I was thinking of this as I did a little boredom shopping in Newport today. Let me tell you, this place is so preppy it rivals Milledge Avenue in number of popped Polo collars, fake blondes, and Lilly Pulitzer sweaters. And places like this always make plain-ol'-me feel a bit inadequate. I always walk around thinking, "If they really knew me, then they wouldn't thumb down their noses." And I fall into the "if I had such and such, then..." line of thinking.

So, I'm trying to talk to myself today. Els and I returned to our hotel room and it was clean thanks to the nice houskeeping folks here. It's not big, but I have to think of the millions around the world who make due with a lot less than this in a permanent situation. Our little family is back together again and I must remember that that is what's important now. Who cares what Johnny and Jill "We summer in Newport and Winter in Aruba" think of me.

While here, I'm never going to be complete. No matter how many years with my wonderful husband I have or how many children the Lord blesses us with, this longing for something else, something more will always be there. Until we look into the eyes of the One Who was, and IS, and is to come.


heather ryan morse said...

amen! i feel the same way lots of times...and the funny thing is that johnny and jill probably feel the same way, too :)

Scott said...

makes me think of Switchfoot...I don't belong here