Cattle on a Thousand Hills

Over the course of the last 9 months, I've had numerous pregnancy-related fears ranging from the semi-founded to the truly absurd. The latest of these has been that I will not lose all of my "baby weight" and never wear my favorite jeans again. Sheesh! I am extremely shallow sometimes. As I was walking last night, I was again feeling very sorry for myself. I'm so uncomfortable I literally only sleep for an hour at a time, I've gained as much weight as you're supposed to already and still have two weeks to go, B is on a business trip this week, etc, etc...I could go on, but you get the picture.

All the sudden the thought occurred to me that while I'm worrying about fitting into my pre-pregnancy clothes and thinking about splurging on a new pair of jeans once I lose weight, there are other moms-to-be out there worrying about how they will feed their children. I suddenly thought about my adopted brother and sister and how scared their birth mothers would have been right before birth, knowing that they would not be able to care for their new babies. Grace was lovingly left at the old orphanage in her town when she was only 3 days old. Meanwhile, Els already has a closet full of clothes and a whole host of people with their bags almost packed, sitting on go to come be with us once she's born. Now, I'm not saying I feel guilty about this, far from it. I'm saying that I, number one, feel outrageously blessed beyond belief, and, number two, feel like maybe I shouldn't fear the things I fear so much.

The truth is, whether here or there, in plenty or in want, my Heavenly Father owns the cattle on a thousand hills and it is only He who is ever my provider. All of this plenty we have is His and has been given to us, not earned. I want to be grateful for the things I have and not take them lightly or as "a given."