Tuesday, January 13, 2009


It's nearing on a year since I've worked. Becuase of the two moves last year and uncertainty of our living situations, I opted not to work in Virginia. Now that I'm about to be a new mom, I'm not looking for a job at the present, but some days it drives me crazy. Although I love my life, it looks nothing like I thought it would 5 years ago as I prepared to graduate from college. That said, I am finding that women my age without jobs have hobbies. They're involved, involved, involved. They sew and/or play the guitar and/or volunteer at lots of organizations and/or are gourmet cooks. The list goes on and on and on. This also goes for women my age that have jobs too. And, to tell the truth, this week it's overwhelming me completely. I can't even finish a whole book these days, much less have the attention span to develop a hobby. My hobby used to be running, but I haven't done that in a good ten weeks now.

Can I be an uber-woman? Do I want to be? What are my hobbies? Moving? All of the things that I do are just every day, keeping my house together things. Nothing special. I can't imagine the energy it would take to be a mom, be artistic, athletic, and either work or volunteer all at the same time. Maybe this thinking is just because I'm in my third trimester and I consider it a success to sleep for 4 hours without getting up to pee or stretch.

I'm so relieved when I remember that I believe in a God of grace. There is grace for even undecided, slothful me. And I am considering hobbies, I just need to make a list and set goals for myself, not trying to do everything all at the same time. God has plans for me and I have to believe that right now, I'm doing what He has set forth for me to do.

"Hast Thou not bid me seek thy face, and shall I seek in vain?
And can the ear of Sovriegn Grace, lean deaf when I complain?"
-From "Dear Refuge of my Weary Soul"


CityStreams said...

Don't be silly! Would you tell a cocooned caterpillar to get out and find a hobby? You're growing a life inside of you. That's what you're doing. And in a couple of months you'll be working around the clock at the best volunteer job on the planet. Until then, you need to sleep and eat. And try not to watch the Birthing Story too much because it will freak you out.

Loves and hugs... ~me~

Ellen said...

time to no longer read in secret, but to finally comment! your post resonates with me for a number of reasons. i've always admired you and thought (though i don't know much detail) that you lived beautifully. i don't play guitar, sew, or cook awesomely either. i just quit my job in favor of staying home full time with my munchkins. sometimes its mundane for sure (even while you wait for your beautiful daughter) and i struggle to feel like i'm doing something significant. other times i think i have the best life ever. and i remind myself that nothing is mundane in God's kingdom if we do it unto Him...even changing diapers, cleaning, greeting a neighbor, kissing a husband...whatever. i enjoy your blog!

Scott said...

heard this quote the other day from helen Keller and thought you'd find it pertinent: "I long to accomplish a great and noble task, but it is my chief duty to accomplish small tasks as if they were great and noble."
I guess she signed that and someone else wrote it down or something (sorry, making fun of Helen Keller was cool in middle school--need to grow up) but seriously, thought it applied.

oh, and you do have a hobby: blogging.

Sonja said...

Girl, you're growing a person. I'd say that's as much of a job as you need right now! :)

Brittany said...

Are you kidding me!? If it weren't for you who would do all the million things that have to be done to get ready for your first little baby!? Not to mention in a brand new house!? And enjoy this time because once it is over, I can promise that you will never, EVER feel this way again!