Filled with joy

There were two very exciting surprises waiting for me once I left home today. One, it was snowing. This may not be exciting to some, but I live in an area that rarely [read: never] sees any snow. And granted, it was just falling, not sticking, but it was exciting all the same. There are 18 foot windows in the lobby where I work and everyone was coming out to look at the snow fall. It's one of the few things that can universally put wonder into the eyes of hardened, overworked adults and that is a beautiful thing to see.

The second thing was an email in my inbox from my friend Callie. Yes, the same friend I wrote about two weeks ago who had been in the terrible car accident. She was released from the hospital last night and is at home. She has a long road of therapy and rehabilitation ahead, but is doing so much better than anyone could have imagined two weeks ago. Please continue to join me in praying for her continued recovery.

"When the Lord restored the fortunes of Zion,we were like those who dream. Then our mouth was filled with laughter,and our tongue with shouts of joy; then they said among the nations, 'The Lord has done great things for them.' The Lord has done great things for us; we are glad."
-Psalm 126: 1-3

Tag, I'm It

A while back my friend tagged me in a "write random things about yourself" blog and so, as I find little else to do between entirely random phone calls and questions today, here are 10 random things about me that probably do not know. (Beware: they are trully the first 10 things that popped into my head.)
1) I think that I would be a good spy. I'm small, young, and innocent looking. No one would ever suspect me. (Plus, I have always wanted to escape out of the top of an elevator.)

2) I'm OCD about trash. I cannot eat something and leave the wrapper laying beside me until I get up for another reason. I must immediately throw it away or its all that I can think of. (Monica, anyone?)

3) If I ever have a light-blub in my hand, all I am thinking about is how I want to smash it on a counter.

4) My first post-college job was as a loan processor. A bit of me died inside that year.

5) Celebrity gossip is my guilty pleasure. Gasp!

6) When my brother (who is now 20) was born, I wanted him to be a girl so bad so that we could name him Anna Carrie.

7) I had perfect attendence in middle school (6th-8th grade). There were 8 of us in my school that did the same. A man found out about this and gave us all a new $100 bill.

8) I attribute the above perfect attendence to the fact that I had scarlet fever in first grade. I have rarely been sick since.

9)My husband and I met at a wedding. I didn't give him a second thought at the time because I thought he was way too old for me. We are, in fact, the same age.

10) My mom has always called me the princess and the pea because I am also OCD about sleeping. It has to be dark, quiet, and I must be comfortable. Anything, however small, can keep me up for hours. I've often taken the batteries out of clocks that tick at other people's houses. (Wow, TMI Kelli.) Not to worry, I always replace them and set the time right in the morning.

So, I warned you, it's a random, random list. I'm not going to tag anyone, but I will challenge you to write a list on your blog and post a link in the comments section.

The cat's out of the bag

In January I wrote a post that sort of alluded to my question-mark-of-a-furture, but I am now at liberty to shed more light on the issue. Don't get too excited, it's not a big secret, I just did not want to blog about anything that people I work with do not know. So, here goes.

Last week I resigned my job because we are moving to Quantico, VA in April. As most of you know, Brian is a Marine and this will begin military life for us. He has to go through six months of training in Quantico, followed by two more months of school in Rhode Island. After this, if everything goes as planned, we will have a permanent duty station (which I hope involves the Pacific Ocean) by the beginning of 2009. Which also means that we get to move THREE times this year. And not from apartment to house to another apartment like in college. What I'm talking about is three moves that involve at least three different states. In one year. With two cats and a bird.

People ask me all of the time if I am excited about this. My standard line is, "I might as well be." In truth, I am excited, but I am also scared to death. For all intents and purposes, the city that I now live in is the only place I've ever lived. It's where my family lives, where I got married, everything. So leaving is more difficult than going, if you know what I mean. It's not the new that scares me, it's leaving the old, not knowing what the future holds.

All over it seems like I am being told to have courage, though. My friend Annie's blog, the book that I'm now reading, and lots of other things keep encouraging me to take heart. I am often reminded of a song that I'm sure I've quoted somewhere on this blog before. My favorite part goes, "And you know the plans that you have for me. And you can't plan the end and not plan the means..." (Love some old school Caedmon's Call.)

Please pray for Callie

My friend Callie was in a horrible car accident last night and is in ICU at a hospital in Atlanta. She has a broken hip and blood around her brain. The next two days are a crucial time for her. Please pray for Callie, she is a sweet person and a good friend. Callie and I got to know each other through the youth group that Brian and I worked with last year at our church. She's currently in 10th grade and just got her driver's license last month. She babysits my little brother and sister and is the most amazing baker that I know. Her chewy bars will be famous one day.

So, again, I beg that you pray for her for healing. Pray that the Lord would also comfort her family during this time.

"Dear Refuge of my weary soul, on Thee when sorrows rise,
On Thee when waves of trouble roll, my fainting hope relies,
To Thee I tell each rising grief, for Thou Alone canst heal,
Thy Word can bring a sweet relief for every pain I feel..."

Confessions of the selfish

Today, like yesterday, there is nothing going on here except for "escalator maintenance." That means that two guys are in little hatches at the top and bottom of the escalator directly across the lobby from my desk banging away on things. The amusing part of the situation is that they occasionally yell at one another. I don't think that they're friends outside of work. Judging by the events of the last couple of days, they're not really even friends at work. But, oh well.



In other news, I feel like I should come clean with you guys. I was in a terrible mood yesterday when I got off work because I was just brooding. Do you ever do that? Find yourself in the stinky pot and just sit there, marinating in your troubles? Well, if you don't, take it from me, it's terrible, but it's like quicksand because you cannot get out easily once trapped. Most of the time this happens in my mind and I let every little event pile up on top of the last until I feel that I am quite possibly the most horribly dejected human being that has ever borne the misfortune of walking this earth. Vague enough for you? Yesterday my nocuous mulling was the result of jealousy. I sometimes nauseate myself with this. Without going into details, I was feeling insanely overrun by several people in my life who really could have no idea what they were doing to me. What's worse is that I'm sure they in no way were trying to do anything to me whatsoever. So I brooded and I was short with Brian when he came home from work, knowing all the time that the longer I held it in, the more it was going to stink when it came out.



I surprised myself, though, and decided to tell Brian every stupid thing that I was upset over, instead of taking anything out on him. (None of the ill will was bent on him, I might mention.) The thing I was so worried about was that he would look down on me for having such childish jealousy, but he did not. He affirmed me and spoke truth to me and although I am not cured, I felt a million times better after just admitting how I felt. The more I live, the more I believe that honesty is always the best policy, period. And I'm so glad that I have already been made right with God through the work of Christ, because I can't do it on my own.

With so much deception, it's hard not to wander away

Sometime in 2003 (I don't remember the month), I read an article in National Geographic Magazine that literally changed my life. It was about 21st Century Slaves. Yes, slaves. Like the kind that you thought were done with after the Civil War, when in all actuality, there are more people in the world today who live in slavery or slavery-like conditions than in the 1700 and 1800s. Astounded? That's okay, I certainly was the first time I heard this. But maybe astounded is not so much the word as dumbfounded or indignant. How on earth can we think that we live in any kind of modern world or society when PEOPLE are still bought and sold like pencils, cars, or any other inanimate commodity? And why was I 21 years old the first time I heard about it? Why are we not fighting wars to erradicate slavery? Why is it not the top news story everyday everywhere in the world?

I couldn't get this reality out of my head, so when I went to grad school in 2005, I decided to dedicate what I could of my studies to this subject. For those who may not know, I got my master's degree in Public Health. Instead of a writing a thesis to culminate my degree, I did a semester long internship at a domestic violence shelter and a rape crisis center in northeast Georgia. I also wrote a capstone paper about the myriad of health effects on victims of sex trafficking. This is because most of the modern day slaves are women and children who are trafficked and held for the purpose of sexual exploitation. In layman's terms this equals forced prostitution. Long story short, these people are most of the time destitute, they are tricked into moving to a different country for work, and then forced into sexual exploitation and held against their wills. Often they are broken and brainwashed so that they are bitter and untrusting of those who want to help. Even if released from this hellish "profession," they are scorned by their family and friends because of what they haved been forced to do and left with serious health conditions that inhibit their ability to carry daily living, much less their ability to work.

It would be easy to feel overwhelmed by the magnitude of the problem and paralyzed by hopelessness. But we are not left without hope. There are many organizations that work with these victims, such as Free the Slaves, and International Justice Mission. My personal goal is to raise as much awareness as possible about this issue and try to educate people because knowledge is half the battle. Go to the websites above and learn more, or ask me because there is still a lot I haven't written here because of space.

"He has shown you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly, and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God." -Micah 6:8

One, but we're not the same

It's hard to write this post today because I'm tired and feeling cynical. But it's been a while and I have a song in my head (as usual) and it relates to today. There is a Bridal show at the "office" today and it has me reflecting on marriage and our society. It seems to me that getting married these days has more to do with "the big day" than with the fact that two people are becoming one. You have to pay to get into this particular show so that people can sell you things like photography, cakes, and ribbons.

When you are planning to get married, people not only want to sell you things, they love to give advice. Some bad, and some good, like, "Don't argue after 9 PM." (Not that we abide by this one, but it sure makes a lot of sense now...moving on.) The one thing that no one told us is that you are still the same exact people at the reception that you were before you ever walked down the aisle. Same sins, same insecurities, same habits. You see, wedding vendors bank on selling "the big day," the fairytale wedding and so forth, with total disregard to the fact that there's a whole lifetime of marriage to follow. No matter how beautifully arranged the flowers are and how many settings of fine china you get, hard times are going to come and there needs to be more to stand on than a diamond you had to take out a loan to get. I'm not saying that everyone is like this, I have just seen a lot of it lately and it's frightening. My husband and I loved each other as much as possible on July 10, 2004, but we had no idea what was in store and we have had it pretty easy. My mom has always said that love is a choice. One day you wake up and the warm fuzzies are gone and you have to remind yourself to choose to love the person beside you, and, what is more, I have to pray to God that He will give me a heart for my husband day in and day out. It is only by His grace we survive, it is only by His grace that we are happy. It is only by His grace that we stand.

I have been given the privilege of walking beside my husband through life. We are truly opposites in a lot of ways, but we balance each other out. He's logical, I'm a romantic. He's rational, I'm, well, the opposite of that. I love the U2 song from which this post borrows it's title. It says, "We're one but we're not the same, we get to carry each other, carry each other..." I think that's what marriage is about. Not stuff.

I'm Nowhere and You're Everything

"It's way past two and you want me there, but he needs me here so you have to share. I'm cryin' 'cause I'm in love with you, you're cryin' because you have no clue." Don't read too much into this people. These are lines from a Chris Thile song that is stuck in my head a lot. It's a beautiful song that reminds me of the general situation in Jane Austen novels, but I digress. This is not even what I want to write about today, I just have the song in my head and couldn't think of a title to the post.

Moving on. There is a small conference in the building where I work today. They're a nice conference. Sometimes people that are here for conferences are demanding, condescending, creepy, or a combo of all three, but these are just good folks here today. However, no matter what kinds of people they are, weird things ALWAYS happen to me when there are big groups here by nature of the fact that I am the "catch-all" in the building. So when the client walks in this morning with a box of materials that MUST go to the speaker in a certain room during his session, guess who got to interrupt? That's right. The door is at the back of the room so I walk in while he's speaking and as quiet as I try to be, the door makes a lot of noise. All eyes are immediately turned from the speaker, who's still speaking I might add, and onto moi. He keeps speaking and pretends like he doesn't see me for what seemed like a day. Meanwhile eyes go back and forth from speaker to awkward girl in the back holding a huge box. Finally, he motions for me to come forward, and keeps speaking while I carry the box down the center aisle, place it on the back table, and basically run out. Why couldn't that have waited until the break? Oh well, keeps me humble. The older I get the more I fear that I may never quite lose the total awkwardness that has plagued me since adolescence.

In other news, the first real event that I've planned is today!

4,015 Days of Running

Today is a momentous day for me. It's my 11 year running anniversary. Why do I know this? Answer: I have no idea, but like so many random facts that crowd the corners of my brain, I do. You see, I was a very unathletic kid. I played one season of tee-ball before my parents realized that I had much more interest in the ants and flowers in the outfield than I did in playing the game. But for some reason, on January 14, 1997, this unathletic kid decided she had had enough of the sedentary lifestyle, threw away the potato chips, turned off Oprah and decided to join my dad on his almost-daily run. At the time we lived in a neighborhood with a loop that was .8 of a mile. I couldn't run even halfway around. I used to cry and beg my mom to walk with me. But for some reason, I caught the bug and ran almost every day, finally making it a half mile, one mile, two miles. That fall I joined the cross country team at the high school. I was the worst on the team for the first few races, but happy all the while to pull up the rear. Then, one day I just cut four minutes off my 5K time in one race and earned a spot on the Varsity team.

Things kept up like this, little by little I improved. My senior year of high school I was captain of the cross country team. I went to a private school my first two years of college on a cross country scholarship. I am living proof that anything is possible if you work hard enough. The title of this blog is misleading because I haven't actually run every day for the last 11 years. Just almost everyday. My mom used to say, "If Kelli can run, anybody can." My dad said that if you had told him when I was starting high school that I would go to college on a cross country scholarship he would have laughed in your face. And they're not being mean with these comments, it's just the truth.

Now, I love running. People always say things to me like, "I can't believe that you can run that far." But the truth is, I didn't start yesterday. I started eleven years ago and I have worked for every bit of it. I write all of this to encourage you that you can do it. You can start the thing today and it may take YEARS, but you'll never know unless you try.

Into the Wild

We don't go to movies all that often anymore, so when we do, we want them to be worth the almost $10 per person admission fee. In the last couple of weeks, we have been to an uncharacteristically-for-the-Magees large amount of movies. There just seemed to be a bunch that we want to see. I Am Legend was terrible, unless you like zombie films with little plot in which your favorite character is killed. The new National Treasure was great as far the fun, unlikely, historical conspiracy theory movies go. Brian's boss didn't like it because he's a history buff and he called it completely implausible, but I am fortunately not plagued with that much brain-power and I liked it. Charlie Wilson's War is an excellent movie and provides an interesting view of the history of how the Cold War ended and why we're in the mess internationally that we're in now. Plus, Phillip Seymour Hoffman should win an Oscar for his role in the film. He's absolutely brilliant, but that's pretty much par for the course for him. (Side note: see the movie Capote and this movie and think about the range he has.)

But those movies aren't what this post is about. It's about the movie we saw last Friday at the wonderful new independent theatre in our little town called Cine. Into the Wild. It's based on a book by the same title written by Jon Krakauer. It is the true story of Christopher McCandless, who graduated from Emory in 1991, burned his identification and gave all of his money away before trekking across the Western US, mostly by foot, for two years. I remember loving the book when I read it and unlike some books that are made into movie, this one works. Sean Penn directed it and I feel he captured the story on film beautifully. I still can't put a finger on quite why it touches me so deeply. I wept for a while at the end of both book and movie. The story is just so inspiring and tragic at the same time. Maybe it's the part of me that would do the same thing if my family situation was like his was. Krakauer and Penn both relate the freedom that Chris felt when he was penniless and wandering. It's beautiful; I can't quite put it into any other words.

New year, new jobs

Not so much for me, but for many people around me today. It's career fair day at my place of employment today, which means the usual flood of students trying hard not to look awkward in the black suits that they've either 1)never worn before, or 2)haven't worn in a year or so. It also means that I'll be giving out pens, paper clips, and making copies of their resumes. Helpful hint in case you ever go to a career fair: Bring copies of your resume, you're there looking for a job. Those with the foresight to bring actual copies of their resumes are all clutching them tightly, enclosed for now in the black or burgundy portofolio that they carry. Their faces are part hopeful, part anxious as they nervously laugh with their friends while waiting for the exhibit hall to open. I overhear many plans today about, "working for a year or so before med school."

The other people here today are the exhibitors, those with jobs to dispense to the eager, black-sutied masses. In my experience with all kinds of exhibitors for career fairs and trade shows alike, there are two types. The first is made of sharp-suited men and women who have trendy haircuts and expensive looking watches. These are salespeople who are at home in the multi-shaded suits and sometimes trendy dresses that they stylishly sport with their company nametags and designer sunglasses. The second type is equally smart-watched, coifed, and sunglassed, but they wear any number of company-embroidered shirt, whether it be a golf shirt, button-up, or my personal favorite, the sweater vest. And optional accessories for every exhibitor are the bluetooth earphone thing and the rolling duffel/briefcase/bookbag.

The uncharacteristic thing about today's career fair is the fact that a well-known local fast-food restaurant has set up a truck outside to sell lunch to the future-employed. So, until the fair starts they are trying to balance flimsy paper plates chock full of the greasiest hamburgers, fries, and onion rings on their knees while eating and not getting anything on the new outfit. It's just strange to see all of these dressed up people eating fast food. And what is their breath going to smell like in an hour when they're talking to future employers? Maybe they don't care, maybe they're not actually looking for jobs and are here for class credit. These are just the observations of a person who sees a lot of this kind of thing.

I don't know nothin' except change will come

My husband says that my life is a musical, which is pretty much true. There's always a song playing on the radio in my head and everything reminds me of music I know. All that to say, once again, the title of this post is from one of my favorite Patty Griffin songs. Ten points to anyone who can tell me which. Moving on, this is my review of 2007, beginning 2008 post. I know it's the third day of the year, but I'm not as fast as some of my friends in the blogging world.

So, 2007 was a very interesting year for me. Change was it's name, and I think that when I look back on the whole five years from 2006-2011, it will all be about change. In 2007, most notably, my brother Micah joined our family. Then, Brian graduated from Law School-can I get a what, what!, and I went on a life changing trip to Croatia. I then graduated with my master's and in the same week got the wonderful job that I'm doing now. (Which was also the same week that my man started his new job.) In October, that man officially became a lawyer, which is the answer to so many years of prayer, sweat, and hours reading and typing. Whew! We basically ran full speed ahead for the remainder of 2007. And now for 2008-who knows what. I would have never believed you if you had told me some of the things that would happen this past year on January 3, 2007. So, today I can trully tell you that I have no idea, but my life will not look the same on January 3, 2009 as it does today.

Side note: I didn't think that anyone would notice that we didn't send out Christmas Cards, but someone did. Sorry. For you, the picture in this post is the picture that probably would have been on there. Thanks for noticing!

Update, Update!

(FYI: Title of this blog should be sung to the tune of Dora the Explorer's "Backpack, backpack" song.)

Thank you all for thinking and praying for my family. Dad got the job in Gainesville (GA), so they will not have to move. WOOHOO! I mean, we'll still be moving next year, but at least we will be able to come home to the place that feels like home. This has been a tremendous faith-building exercise for everyone involved, which is good but hard.

Thanks again for your thoughts and prayers.

A Bright Purple Spot in a Very Confused State

You cannot escape it these days, no matter who or where you are. Talk about the impending 2008 presidential election is everywhere, so I have begun to give some thought to the candidate that I may support next year. I think that it's important not only to vote, but to vote according to who you believe is the best person for the job. As such, I am determined to find more out about the candidates in order to make the best decision. The problem with this is that much has changed about me since 2004 and I am back at square one, as they say. Actually, I have never understood much about the political system until now. (All I remember about high school civics is that my teacher made me sing Patsy Cline's Crazy at the opening of every class.) My very patient husband has so far explained to me that I cannot vote in both parties' primaries as I was hoping to because you have to be a registered member of a party in order to do so. "But what if I don't want to be a registered Democrat or Republican?" I cried. To which level-headed Libertarian husband replied, "I guess you won't be voting in the primaries then." Well, too bad. But who do I support next November?

I grew up and still live in Conservative, Republican Georgia, and, as bad as it is, I have pretty much voted as such with no education really about issues, what the candidates believe, and how this resonates with me. I am a terrible member of democracy! Well no more! The Libertarian suggested that I take an online quiz to get an idea of where I fit into the political spectrum. So, one day recently, I found myself with little to do, and not only did I take one quiz, I took five. And, the results of each confirmed what I have thought and the Libertarian feared for a while now. The first labeled me an Anarchist. Wow, really?! I mean, liberal maybe, but anarchist, surely not. I am a big fan of the law. Not only do I think it's necessary for society, but my husband makes a living interpereting it and upholding it. The next four were less harsh. Two labeled me a liberal, one a democrat, and one put me on the political spectrum somewhere between Lenin and the Dalai Lama. Well then. Libertarian joked that he would be taking me to counseling. But I still don't know where I stand politically. Frankly, I don't like labels, and I don't trust internet quizzes. (Thank you grad school.)

My challenge to you is the same that I have for myself. Find out about the candidates and issues they support and don't support and decide for yourself who would be the best person for the job before next November. Vote and be educated about it.

Thus ends my long political blog.

Reasons Why is Going Green

Why? Because it's the in thing to do right now and because it is the author's favorite color.

Want the Millers to stay in Athens?

If you do, then pray that my Dad gets the job he is going to interview for next week! It is with a very reputable poultry company for which he would oversee all of their ______ plants. (I cannot remember what kind of plants mom told me they were on the phone, I was so excited.) If he gets this job, he will have to travel more, but they (Dad, Mom, Grace, Micah, George, & Clifford) will get to stay in the place that we have all grown to know and love as home. This does not mean that the Magees (Brian, Kelli, Rumor, Charlie, & Paco) will get to stay, as the Marines do not have a commuting option, but at least we will have somewhere to come "home" to. If this is all very confusing to you, drop me an email and I'll explain myself better.

But whatever you do, pray that Dad gets this job!

Eternal Perspective on a Friday

On most Fridays I do not have an eternal perspective. Most Fridays are chock full of perspective that stretches maybe as far as Saturday evening. But this week has been replete with a feeling of the curse we live under as wayfarers on Earth. This week began for me with a funeral and started wrapping up last night with another funeral home visitation. It also contained a visit with my mother-in-law who has cancer. My grandfather had his second round of chemo this week. Now, I don't say all of this for you, my two readers, to feel bad for me, what I am beginning to realize at 25 is that this is how this life plays out. The writer of Ecclesiastes was speaking from experience when he wrote that there is a time for everything under the sun. And despite of all the apparent sadness in my life, I am not sad myslef. God is trully giving me eternal perspective today. This is the view where one looks at life and says, "We were not made for this." And I think it's a good place to be sometimes. I know that I was made for more, and I used to think that that would mean I would turn out to be a famous person someday. But it doesn't, it means that I was made for life with the Creator. I am a citizen of Heaven as Phillipians 3:20 talks about. These are the days in which I feel it. And I have no choice but to count this as a blessing.

"Mid toil and tribulation and tumult of her war she waits the consummation of peace forevermore. Til with the vision glorious, her longing eyes are blessed, and the great Church victorious shall be the Church at rest."
-Samuel Stone

Fall Back

I discovered a new thing that I like about adulthood today. In the past when the time changes in the fall (a.k.a. Fall Back), I have lamented greatly because it gets dark so much earlier in the day. However, this morning I discovered to my amazement that time change affects not only the evening, but the morning as well. Since I have been a student for what feels like the past 100 years, I have not noticed (read: I have slept through) the good side of "Fall Back." It's wonderful! It was so light outside that I was early to work this morning. Come five o'clock this evening when I am already using my headlights I may not be feeling the same, but for now, I love it. Usually the worst part is that I cannot run as late in the evening except for in a few select, well-lit places. This I am partially remedying this year as well. My friend Sarah has introduced me to spin classes and I am going to the second one today. We'll see how this goes, but I am thinking the Fall Back might just get a new reputation in my mind.

Hello

This is a word I find myself using a lot. That and "good morning." Sometimes I say "good morning" so many times in a day I still revert back to saying it at 5pm. Thus is the life of an operations coordinator (read-"receptionist"). Occasionally, a guest will stop by my desk just to comment how they would never be able to do my job because I am surrounded by people all the time and I have to be nice to everyone. And, it's true, sometimes, I very much struggle with having to be nice to everyone I see. But the hardest thing for me is that, when in doubt, I am wrong. The customer is right, my co-workers are right, it must be my fault. "Sure, I'll go ahead and get you a refund for parking because you didn't read the sign (that is on the parking meter that you paid) that I made yesterday saying that you didn't have to pay for parking."

Today is one of those days. I don't think I'd be happy doing any job today. I must have gotten up on the wrong side of the bed as they say. Maybe I just need lunch.

Beauty and the Mess

As I sit at my desk on this once-again sweltering fall afternoon, my mind wanders back over the last week. I heard a couple of stories last week that are sad to the point of being almost numbing. The details aren't important; what matters is they left me shaking my head and asking why. It was the first time in a while that I felt like jamming my fist in the air and imploring God to tell me Who He is to do such things to good people, people that I care about. Not that I doubt God, I believe that He is entirely sovreign, it's just that I can't see right now how these events could possibly for good. Read again: I can't see it.

And again, I am reminded to trust that these things are ultimately for the good. I am continually amazed as I speak to and hear about the people in the middle of these situations and their calm amdist the storms. In looking at my future as the wife of a Marine at a time when the international conflicts involving our Armed Forces seems unending, it scares me. I already know people who have paid the ultimate sacrifice for our freedom and I know that this number will only grow. What do I do? Do I stay isolated and not give myself as a friend to others in order to protect my emotions?

No. I love movies with happy endings mostly because real life is not like that. Real life is messy and sad, and as John Piper says, suffering only makes our joy more intense. (Note: His podcast is awesome.) We get the beauty and the mess together. I will leave you with a line from one of my favorite songwriters, Sandra McCracken:

"I'd rater have the mystery, and the madness, and the rain, because Hell's the only place we can be free from all love's pain."