Thursday, January 19, 2012

The Valley of Vision

My heart is breaking this afternoon for so many reasons, for so many people.  However, I'd be lying if I told you that I was not the first person for whom I am tempted to weep.  One year ago today we brought home a very sick little man from the hospital.  Although it was the end of his sickness, it was just the beginning of mine.  On January 19, 2011, I had no idea yet how black it would get, how deep depression would go.  I cringe, my heart in knots, just to think about it now.  And although I did not yet realize how deep was the valley that I had begun to descend, I also knew very little of the mercy of my God.  Because, you see, last year I found myself in the pit falling in love with my Savior.  Praise God that he has delivered me from so great a peril and he will deliver me still!  I learned (am still learning?) by paradox that the broken heart is the healed heart.

"Let me find thy light in my darkness,
thy life in my death,
thy joy in my sorrow,
thy grace in my sin,
thy riches in my poverty,
thy glory in my valley."

-from "The Valley of Vision

What a difference a year can make!


Ellen said...

kelli, thank you so much for your continual honesty about your depression. it really encourages people more than you know...and to know that Jesus is working in you and drawing you to Himself gives me hope for my broken heart. wish you lived closer! let me know if you ever drive through augusta...

little miller is getting so big and handsome!

Betsy said...

thanks for being so honest about the depression you have been dealing with....i know it can be tough to be honest in that way. my mom had it after her second child, and i am prone to anxiety and depression and wondered if i would have it with sibby. luckily i have not, but i sometimes thin about the next child....anyways, thanks for sharing and i am praying for you :)