Beauty and the Mess

As I sit at my desk on this once-again sweltering fall afternoon, my mind wanders back over the last week. I heard a couple of stories last week that are sad to the point of being almost numbing. The details aren't important; what matters is they left me shaking my head and asking why. It was the first time in a while that I felt like jamming my fist in the air and imploring God to tell me Who He is to do such things to good people, people that I care about. Not that I doubt God, I believe that He is entirely sovreign, it's just that I can't see right now how these events could possibly for good. Read again: I can't see it.

And again, I am reminded to trust that these things are ultimately for the good. I am continually amazed as I speak to and hear about the people in the middle of these situations and their calm amdist the storms. In looking at my future as the wife of a Marine at a time when the international conflicts involving our Armed Forces seems unending, it scares me. I already know people who have paid the ultimate sacrifice for our freedom and I know that this number will only grow. What do I do? Do I stay isolated and not give myself as a friend to others in order to protect my emotions?

No. I love movies with happy endings mostly because real life is not like that. Real life is messy and sad, and as John Piper says, suffering only makes our joy more intense. (Note: His podcast is awesome.) We get the beauty and the mess together. I will leave you with a line from one of my favorite songwriters, Sandra McCracken:

"I'd rater have the mystery, and the madness, and the rain, because Hell's the only place we can be free from all love's pain."

Lavingos

No, it's not a dirty word-get your head out of the gutter. It's actually what Grace wants to go to the zoo and see. Lavingos. You know, those tall pink birds that stand on one foot.

Shameless Plug

Here's some advice: If you ever have an event at the Classic Center, request the chocolate cookies with peanut butter in the middle. They'll change your life.

The seaweed is always greener

...in somebody else's lake. Oh the immortal words of Sebastian the crab. I debated for a while what to call this particular post, and it came down to either the winning title (as seen above) or the losing, "I don't know what to do with my life." It seems to me like every time I think I settle on something, I do it for a month and find myself right back where I started - disillusioned , unsettled, and anxious to know what's next. Oftentimes, I think back to the past and wish that I were in some part of it again. And this is where I am right now. I am happy in the day to day, but I really don't see where this is going. And maybe I have to rest in the fact that I may never know. The people and prophets of the Old Testament lived and died for something that they never saw come to fruition. It's amazing to me that they kept faith for more than a day. Because the more I live, the more I think that it doesn't matter what my profession is (or what I do day in and day out), but it matters how I live my life around the people that God puts me around.

I pray that God would grant me grace for feet and faith for eyes so that I can move farther forward, not just farther along.