More Than I Deserve

So, I have to be real honest and tell you guys that I've been throwing a big pity party for myself around here lately.  You see, this week I'm 33 weeks pregnant with Miller and I kind of thought that most people in my life hadn't really noticed.  I've given myself little pep talks about how he's a second child and a lot of people don't have showers for second children, I just had a baby 19 months ago, we have most of what we need anyway, etc., etc.  The last thing I want to be is needy.  I guess it's the raging American in me that wants to pull myself up by my own bootstraps, thank-you-very-much.  But this is not how God intended for us to live together as believers, a point that He wanted to make very clear to me.

Everything changed yesterday when I walked into my good friend's house for our weekly lunch Bible study.  I hadn't noticed the extra cars parked around as I tried to carry the food I had made, Els' booster seat and bag, while also trying to corral her into the yard and out of the road.  And then it happened.  Everyone yelled "Surprise!"  It was not Bible study, it was a baby shower for Miller.  I cried.  Hard.  Automatically, I felt so foolish and selfish for having spent the time feeling left out and overlooked.  And I felt so blessed.  They had made all sorts of delicious food and invited some wonderful ladies that I haven't seen in a while.  It was wonderful to catch up with everyone and have all of our kids there together.  As I opened gifts, I threw out the tissue paper to all the toddlers and preschoolers and they had a ball throwing it around and ripping it to shreds.  What a perfect shower for a little boy!

Later in the afternoon, while Els napped, I sat on my bed and thanked God for His ever over-abundant provision for me.  I am overwhelmed at how marvelous His grace is to poor, petty me.  The shower yesterday was a not-so-subtle reminder that He does see me, listen to me, and pour blessings out on me even when I don't deserve them.  To the praise of His glorious Name!

Thank you, thank you sweet ladies for yesterday if you read this.  You can have no idea what an impact on my life you have made.

"There was life before my life.  There was provision before my need.  There was redemption before my sin.  For the sake of the world, I thank the Lord that the truth's not contingent on me."
-Derek Webb