Jeremiah 29:11

Bear with me here, I'm no theologian, but my world is being rocked by this this week. Jeremiah 29:11, "'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" If you've run in Christian circles for any time at all or ever attended a church graduation service, you've probably heard this verse. It's inspiring, hopeful, very meaningful to know that the Lord God who created the universe has plans for us and that they're hopeful.

However, until this week, I never knew the context of this verse. You see, I am trying to read through the Bible this year. It's a lofty goal on one hand, but on the other, considering the fact that I've been a Christian for years and never read it through once, it's a also a goal that's loooooonnnnnggg overdue. (I mean, I read every word of the Harry Potter series.) Anyways, so right now, the plan I'm following has me in Jeremiah, and it's tough. Jeremiah was basically told to write letters to the king of Israel and Judah and tell them that the Babylonians were coming to take Jerusalem and all the people in it captive. When you get to chapter 29 the Lord (through Jeremiah) is telling the king and officials that if they basically surrender and go to Babylon, build houses, plant fields, they'll be fine. They were going to have to leave home indefinitely. He's saying that he knows the plans he has for them, but that they are not the plans that the people would have made for themselves. And the people weren't too happy about this, as evidenced in the chapters that follow in which the king burns Jeremiah's letter and throws him in jail. This is because the hopeful future God's talking about in verse 11 is a future in which they set up their lives in a foreign land and live for generations.

This truth is speaking volumes to me because, as you've gathered by now, my life is NOTHING like I thought that it would be. But, I would have it no other way. God knows his plans for me, and while hopeful, they're nothing like I would have imagined. We've left home indefinitely, and are setting up shop in a "foreign" (to us) land. And we're probably going to move again and again and again. But God knows his plans for us. Even if they're not what we would have chosen.

"I may not know the way I go, but Oh, I know my Guide."

Glorious Fall

It's finally here in the Lowcountry. At least for a few days, when we can pretend like there are seasons here and pull out our sweaters in hopes of wearing them a couple of times before summer hits again next year. The light is golden, the night-time temperatures flirt with the 40s, and leaves are thinking about falling from their trees. This morning there was a mist coming from the defunct golf course across our backyard, and as it hit the big tree behind our patio, it looked like smoke. The sight was nothing short of glorious. Creation, at least in my little corner of the world, was playing a symphony to the Lord.

This past weekend, we went to a small "Oktoberfest" in Port Royal, which is the town directly across the bridge from us. It was a good time and Els really enjoyed watching all of the people and dogs that were there. Els doesn't like to smile for people she doesn't know, but here we all are. Little things like this make "this place" feel more and more like home as we make memories together. What a blessing!

Oh My!

Just in case you were wondering, there is new media of all forms in my life. And, just in case you were wondering, here is a list of said "things that are rockin' my world:"

• Into Thin Air by Jon Krakauer - I have looked at this book sitting on our shelf for over five years now and listened to B tell men many a time what a great read it is. I have read other Krakauer books and thoroughly enjoyed them, yet never picked this one up for some reason. Until last Monday. This is a must read. It is the harrowing tale of the 1996 disaster on Mount Everest. Climbing to the top of the world sounds miserable, yet captivating at the same time. The most interesting thing that I learned through this is that over 200 people have died on Everest and they're all still there. Yes, you read that right. THEY'RE STILL THERE. FROZEN. You see them when you climb it. Craziness.
• The most recent episode of The Office. Not because Jim and Pam FINALLY tied the knot. (However, I was excited about this.) It was due to the cold open and, most notably, what happened to Andy. (You just have to see it. I tried to find a Youtube video of this, but couldn't.)
  
• Last, and not at all least, the new Indelible Grace album. Oh my! It's new (to me) hymns. It's acoustic. If there's a type of music that defines me, this is it. Buy it and then listen to it. And then listen again. And again. By Thy Mercy is definitely a strong contender for Reasons Why's Album of the Year '09, even after only the 6th listen.
  

So, there they are. Please enjoy.

Epiphany

I remember the first time I heard the word epiphany. Mr. Smi says it in the movie "Hook," and though I had no idea what it meant the first time I heard it, I thought "epiphany" was the most beautiful word that had ever met my ears.

But I digress.

I had one such epiphany the other night as we were putting Els to bed. We do the same thing every night. B was laying on the floor surrounded by Rumor and Charlie, and I was in the glider, rocking Els to sleep (yes, I still do that-I love it!) when the thought occurred to me, "There's no place I'd rather be."

Now, y'all endure enough angst from me about belonging and loneliness and missing home to know that this was huge in my life. To God be the glory-He redeems all things! Even weeks that B works long hours and we're nap training and all three exhausted. What joy He can surprise us with!

"Sometimes a light surprises the Christian while he sings;
It is the Lord, who rises with healing in His wings:
When comforts are declining, He grants the soul again
A season of clear shining to cheer it after the rain."
-William Cowper

Shout-out

Thanks to Jana for help with the new header. Not only did she take the picture, she showed this computer-illiterate mama how to make said picture into a header.

Click on over to see more of her amazing photos!

Pray for Piper

A sweet family that we know from "home" found out this week that their 2-month-old granddaughter, Piper, has leukemia. It is so sad, but they are choosing to be hopeful from what I have heard. Please pray for this family and Piper's doctors at Scottish Rite.

You can follow their blog here.

P.S. Thanks for all of your words of encouragement lately. I feel truly loved and blessed!

Grace's Life is a Fashion Show

Today was Mom's day to read to Grace's 1st grade class at school. They have been spending time this week picking out the book for Mom to read and collecting various items for Grace to take for show and tell.

Grace rides with their neighbors to school because the mom is the school counselor and the daughter is Grace's often-time partner in dressing-up-and-riding-large-stuffed-horses-around. So, every morning Mom throws something on and walks Grace to the end of the driveway to meet the neighbors. In anticipation of the big show and tell today, Grace was already a little miffed at Mom for not letting her bring Todo, their dog, to school when she looked up at jeans and t-shirt clad Mom and said, "You're not wearing that to my school are you?"

First grade, people. I have a feeling that Dad's credit card needs to gird it's loins before this girl hits middle school.

28

Happy Birthday Babe! Love you forever!

The Night Before

In 2001, they still put phone lines into on-campus apartments. It was just before everyone relied primarily on cell phones and land lines went the way of the dodo bird. That year was my sophomore year at Wingate University and I lived with three other girls in an apartment where we each had a tiny room with shared common areas. We also each had our own land lines, since, like I said earlier, our cell phones were still primarily "for emergencies." We also each had answering machines that were entire separate entities from our phones.

On the night of September 10, 2001, my roommates and I decided to do funny songs on each others' answering machines as the greetings. I did an inspiring version of "Kiss the Girl" from The Little Mermaid on my roommate Natalie's machine. Another roommate, Faith, penned an original rap entitled, "Where Kel? I don't know!" for my machine which finished with the mad beat-box skills of four 20-year-old white girls. Sadly, I don't remember the other two, but we had a great time together and laughed a whole lot. It was what we called a "family night."

We had no idea that the world was about to change forever.

Why I'm Infrequent

I just got out of a good shower. Man, it feels good to be clean, especially after, and I'm gonna be real honest here, it's been a few days since the last one. I say all this because I sometimes strangely get a lot of clarity in the shower. My posts have been infrequent lately, I know. I feel like there's nothing to blog about, and when I sit down to write, I end up writing the same thing over and over again. They're all about how I'm lonely, but blessed, and homesick yet home.

I realized that I try and try to make friends, but I hate to be vulnerable, so I put up my mask with everyone, and so there hasn't been any real spark of friendship with anyone here. So, I feel alone. And I wallow. Then I write the same blog post (usually on Tuesday) and erase it.

I've decided to try to be vulnerable in hopes of making a good friend. Starting tomorrow. (No, I'm not procrastinating, I just don't call people with kids after nine because I know that we get irritated if someone randomly calls us at that time.) I decided to put this resolution in writing so that maybe I won't chicken out tomorrow.

As always, thanks for bearing with me through this. God is good through all of my struggling. I know He has a reason for this lonely period. I know he knows what it is to be lonely and that's comforting.

"Guide me, O Thou great Jehovah,
Pilgrim through this barren land.
I am weak, but Thou art mighty;
Hold me with Thy powerful hand.
Bread of Heaven, Feed me til I want no more." -William Williams

Old Feet, New Feet

I am

Eating frozen thin mints

Drinking Celestial Seasons "Sleepytime" (which we refer to as "bear tea" because of the logo)

Happy that Els was in bed BEFORE 9pm

Watching a re-run of Criminal Minds

Sore from a good run with a new friend today

Really engrossed in reading When a Crocodile Eats the Sun

Excited about visiting friends this weekend

Sitting next to my best friend

New Things

B is so brave. About so many things that I am a complete wimp about. He is the one always trying to teach Els new things (such as walking on his feet, see above.) He's the one that got her to sleep in her crib and without her swaddle cold turkey. He is the one who wants to get rid of the baby monitor so that I can sleep without listening to her every move. ("We'll hear her if she screams," he says.) We're not there yet, but I believe one of these nights he's going to sneak around to my side of the bad and just turn it off.

God is so good to have provided me with such a gentle husband who is strong where I am weak and knows how to push me out of my comfort zone when it's for my own good. I'm so thankful that Els and I have such an encourager in our life.

Favorite Things, Part 3

It is utterly amazing how my favorite things have changed since February 27th of this year. While they used to be (& partly still are) jewelry, toiletries, and other girlie stuff, they now include a wider variety of items. So, you can think of this "Favorite Things" as the "New Mom Edition." Enjoy!

1- The Shark Steam Mop. It cleans and STERILIZES my woods floors. No cleaning solution needed. Just add water. Dries really fast. Need I say more?

2- Baby Bjorn. I love it because I can put Els in it and be hands free while shopping, cleaning, or just walking around. (Okay, okay, and I secretly think of it as exercise...) Els loves it because she gets to be close to mommy, see everything around her, and lick the bib part all at the same time.

3- P90X. This is how I'm "getting my body back." Yes, it's hardcore. Yes, it's time consuming. No, I don't do it every day or do the eating plan. However, I feel like I'm almost in as good shape physically as I've ever been in and I can wear all of my pre-pregnancy clothes again. (I did a pull-up all on my own the other day!) Bring it!

4- This thing. If Els was making a favorite things list, this would run a close second to the cats. (She is enamored with the cats!) It's so much fun watching her push the buttons and learn how to play with the toys. I also think it really helps hone her eye-hand coordination skills. She gets so excited when she actually grabs what she sets out to grab. (Especially if it involves a kitty or mommy face!)

5- Amy Butler Nappy Bag. It goes everywhere we go. It holds everything we both need. And it's super cute and very un-diaper bag like. Mine is in this fabric. Love it!

6- Nap time. I never really understood until now the magic of nap time. It's as much for me as it is for my Elli-girl. She's still a very good baby, but sometimes it's easier to get a lot of things done fast while she sleeps, so that I can focus on her while she's awake.

Are you ever finished?

When you own a home, is there ever a time when you sit back, kick your feet up, and think, "Wow! There's nothing that needs doing around here!"? It seems like everytime I stop to catch my breath around the house these days, all I see are the next five projects waititng impatiently for me to tackle them. Since we've been home, I feel like I've been cleaning and organizing non-stop and I feel like I've barely made any headway. Oh, and did I mention that our air conditioner was dead when we got home last weekend? No? Well, it was. The repairman actually said it was the worst set-up he'd ever seen and he was surprised that the original ownwers had gotten away with the permit for it. He said that he would not put any more money into it. It was all but rusted over completely. Fabulous. So guess what we got last week?

That means, in the last 8 months since signed on the dotted line, we've replaced the dryer, dishwasher, hot water heater, and AC system in our house. That's not to mention several sets of blinds and the rooms we painted. Whew! Next time, we're getting the first year warranty on our house!

She Likes Flowers

Oh, they're so pretty!

You Can't Always Get What You Want

I realize I've been a little absent. We're currently breaking Els of the swaddle and that means a lot less sleep for us both. Also, at this particular moment in time, I'm eagerly awaiting the arrival home of my brother (21) and sister (24) from their little European jaunt (Hungary, Croatia, Prague-don't get me started about trip jealousy), while at home with Els, Grace and Micah. It's 1:16 a.m. Micah has already been up four times. Thus, I'm blogging and not sleeping. The phrase, "I'll look back on this one day and laugh," comes to mind.

In other news, we're headed back home for good this weekend. I am more than excited. We will all three be at home together for the foreseeable future. (Can I get a what-what?) B graduated from the course he's been in last Friday AT THE TOP OF HIS CLASS! And, *surprise*, he also got promoted to Captain on the same day. It was one of those days where we could see clearly that we're indeed headed in the right direction. But nothing tops the thought of us all just being at home. HOME.

"If you try sometimes, you will find, you get what you need..."

On My Mind

"O I am my Beloved’s
And my Beloved is mine!
He brings a poor vile sinner
Into His house of wine
I stand upon His merit -
I know no other stand,
Not e’en where glory dwelleth
In Emmanuel’s land."

-From, The Sands of Time are Sinking by Anne Cousin (based on Samuel Rutherford's letters)

Addendum

To add to the list of things I've learned while in Rhode Island:

• I'm apparently frightened by aircraft carriers. They are absolutely the biggest things I have ever seen. I had no idea. It's kind of like the Grand Canyon, pictures do not do aircraft carriers justice. I am astounded that these things float in water.
  
• Toddler spoons are a poor substitute for baby spoons. There's a big difference.
  
• Els is a great conversation piece. She melts the hearts of even these grumpy northerners.
  
• B is addicted to the one game on my phone. The man doesn't play any other video games. Ever. But he can barely tear himself away from Brickbreaker.

We leave in two days. But then there are only two weeks until we'll all be back in the Lowcountry together for good!

She-ras of the Faith

I've been reading A LOT lately. The list of books that I'm reading to the left is only half accurate most of the time because I forget to update it with the latest volumes I've picked up. Earlier this summer, I stumbled upon a wealth of novels by Francine Rivers in my parents' basement and have since devoured them. She is by no means a writer of fine classical literature, but the woman can "spin a yarn" for sure. The thing that I like most about her writing is not the fact that her books are page turners, it's that the stories are about great women, whether fictional or historical, of great faith. Mrs. Rivers wrote a great set of novellas on the five women mentioned in Matthew's genealogy of Jesus, Tamar, Rahab, Ruth, Bathsheba, and Mary. It's interesting to see how these women were all messed-up outsiders of sorts who did things that could have been seen as of ill repute from the outside. But from the inside, these were women of enormous faith who trusted God at His word no matter what life presented them with. And these five outsiders were counted worthy by God to be the only women that are listed in the physical genealogy of His Son.

Now I am reading Evidence Not Seen, an autobiography of Darlene Deibler Rose, who was a young missionary to Indonesia at the start of World War II. She was held as a POW for the entire span of the war by the Japanese, losing her husband and being falsely accused as a spy. What Darlene never lost was faith. Even when she was held without food or a way to go to the bathroom for four days, she never doubted or was mad with God. In fact, she clung harder to Him. Her walk with God encourages me through the pages.

By contrast, my life is much easier than all of these women, yet I think I have it hard most days. God has been so good to give me the stories of these women at this time in my life, not to make me feel bad, but to show me that He truly is the only Way and to encourage me during hard times. I want to be a woman of faith like Tamar, Rahab, Ruth, Bathsheba, Mary, and Darlene. I want to count everything loss for the sake of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. I want to walk so closely with my Father, that I recognize His rod and staff even when it's dark and trust that He indeed leads me beside still waters.

"When the saints go marching in, Oh Lord, I want to be in that number!"